We’re all striving for the best life. All yearning to feel at ease with ourselves and hoping for a blissful, more stress-free existence.
And if you’re claiming this is already your life, then please share your secrets?
But if you’re like the rest of us, it can seem an impossible challenge avoiding emotional distress and we do a good job of mentally punishing ourselves for failing, coming to the conclusion that what we do isn’t good enough.
We tend to accept this self conclusion and declare we just aren’t one of the “lucky” ones’ who’s lives are spurting with joy and happiness at every corner. Or so it seems anyway when we spend so much time on social media.
Modern day society has left us mentally exhausted and we’ve somehow lost ourselves in the process. It’s hard to control your thoughts and emotions when we have so much out there telling us how we should feel, change, act or be.
It can be a confusing place, and it’s easy to look around and get lost.
Losing Reality
Now I love social media to an extent, but it’s disturbing to realise just how manipulated we are by it. How Instagram can make us feel inadequate on every level, how Facebook can make our lives look boring in comparison to everyone else. How isolated we feel when we watch others’ adventuring on their Snapchat story.
The hurrying world we live in has made us lose touch with who we really are. We forget to take time for ourselves to figure stuff out. Though many are just looking in the wrong place for their answers.
Our thoughts and opinions have become so blended with other people, some we know, some even strangers. It’s as if we’re all seeking to fit ourselves into the “perfect life” mould. The one we see through a screen.
It’s damaging to lose our personal mental process. When we spend so much time observing others, we lose our own coherent thoughts and suddenly all of our irrational fears come to surface.
Why is my life not like theirs? Why can’t I get away with wearing that? Why don’t I have money like they do? Why am I such a failure? Why don’t I look like that?
Don’t we all beat ourselves up a little too much?
What we need to realise is how false all of this is. How the majority have been conditioned to only share the highlights of their life.
I mean you aren’t going to share a photo of you lying around in your pyjamas, in a messy space with untidy hair and face, whilst sobbing into a pillow when you feel overwhelmed by life are you?
We wait for moments to filter and instead of enjoying what they are just for us, we feel pressured to add an additional exaggerated layer, in the hope our lives can compete with what we see online.
I mean ask yourself honestly, how long did you spend crafting the perfect photo instead of just enjoying that moment?
The Happiness Sponge
Whether we recognise it or not, the amount of time we spend exposing ourselves to social media soaks up so much of our inner thoughts and massively affects our happiness levels.
All of the distractions that seem so important, like checking Facebook first thing in the morning, scrolling through Instagram, bitching over WhatsApp to our friends about how crap we feel or bashing someone’s life choice will only achieve one outcome. And that’s take away our time for the things that actually matter most.
We use an enormous amount of our energy on what others are doing which only leaves us feeling more drained and deflated. Ironically, we feel so much more alone when using what we call “social” media.
Giving others too much attention usually ends with sheer panic and self doubt. We forget about everything in our lives that actually brings us lasting joy and fulfilment.
If we aren’t careful, we can easily speed through our life, never spending the precious time we have focusing on what really does matter – our family, our real physical friendships, getting outdoors and experiencing the world not through a screen, enjoying delicious meals without having to photograph them first, having deep and meaningful conversations, trying new hobbies that you always swore you would do, getting lost in an amazing book or just taking some time away from your phone to allow your thoughts to process and turn into actionable goals.
These are the things that matter. You matter and your time matters. Do you want to reach a point where you wonder where life has gone? Do you want to feel regret at how long you spent distracting yourself with meaningless comparison?
I bet the answers no.
The Real Reality
Don’t waste energy wondering how to be like someone else. Their life isn’t going to be as perfect as your eyes see it. Everyone has problems, everyone is fighting their own battle. The majority will only share the good times, remember that.
Most of us are highly critical of ourselves and we would never consider telling anyone what we really feel inside. Deep within our own thoughts, we self destruct, lower our self-esteem and sometimes even hate the people we are.
This habit won’t go away instantly once you decide to make a change. We are human and will continue to feel like this from time to time. Some more than others and that’s perfectly normal.
The real consequence can ripple through us if you start to believe your defeatist attitude and use what we see on social media to justify the negative internal conversations we have in our alone time.
Never allow these thoughts to become true and a part of you. Your spirit and well-being is far too important here. Whenever you’re feeling shitty and comparing yourself, always remember you shouldn’t ever look at anything people reveal of themselves at face value.
Never measure your own accomplishments against the spectrum that social media has set.
You are the realest thing in your life. You are unique and no matter how you choose to live you life, remember to only compare yourself against yourself.
Set goals, impress yourself and for goodness sake, love who you are.
Use all your powerful energy on what really matters. Because life becomes that little bit sweeter, more enjoyable and far less exhausting when we erase the noise.
Take enjoyment in the things that are right there in front of you. The present will go on with or without you and I certainly wouldn’t want to miss it. Would you?