I see so many articles, especially around New Year, telling us all the the things we should stop doing to be happy.
And it bothers me because it’s all stop this and stop that and stop doing everything else you’re doing. We’re only human and certain habits can be tough to “stop”.
Why else would we call them habits right?
So I find it’s far more exciting and rewarding to actually START something.
Start with passion and determination, rather than be told again and again that what we do isn’t good enough.
Many of us hold on to things that generally cause us a great deal of stress, pain and anxiety and instead of letting them all go, we cling on for dear life.
It’s a vicious circle along with our time escaping us so quickly (where did 2017 actually go?) Then comes feeling unhappy and unaccomplished at the end of the year, which is by no means a fun way to take yourself in the next year.
So with that said, here are my 6 little reminders which I truly believe will boost your happiness levels for 2018. I’ve adopted all of these into my daily life and I’m positive they will help you too, however you may be feeling right now.
1. Start To Lose Control
Now I don’t mean throw a chair at a wall, tear shit up and run riot down the street. As much fun as that does sound…
But be willing to start losing some of your control on everything happening around you or even to you.
Whether it’s difficult situations with people, events, work, home, family etc, you need to remember you cannot dictate what happens.
If it doesn’t directly affect you then let it be. Let it happen how it’s meant to and you’ll soon see, like I did, how much happier and more free your life will be.
I spent far too long as a control freak, worrying about fixing stuff that was out of my hands from the beginning, yet I still persisted.
Someone once told me that we spend so long worrying about things that will never actually happen to us.
How scary is that?
It’s just not worth it.
Give your time and energy to the things in your life you can really impact. Things that truly matter to you and forget the noise going on around you.
2. Start To Become Care Free
Many have a constant need to complain about anything and everything – other people, challenging situations, work, anything that make them remotely unhappy.
Maybe you’ve spend too much time with negative people who love nothing more than putting a damper on everything. I certainly have…
But here’s the thing. Nobody has the power to make you unhappy, no situation can make you miserable unless you choose to let it. It’s difficult to master, especially on days where positive thinking becomes a foreign language but there are things you can do to help.
You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with. So really think about the people you have in your life. How many of them are positively impacting you?
We can’t help the family we’re born into but we certainly don’t have to conform to friendships if they’re making us miserable. Don’t be afraid to spend some alone time thinking this through.
By erasing the people who care too much about petty things or put you down, you’ll reward yourself with more free time for the stuff you really enjoy.
Surround yourself with positive people. I cannot even explain what a difference this will make on your happiness and lifestyle. There’s zero time to be dragged under by other peoples’ weak interpretation of strength.
You can become the most powerful version of yourself when you start to let go.
3. Start Living To Your Expectations
We all follow a regimented pattern from birth. Grow up, primary school, high school, perhaps college or university, leave home, find a job, grow in that job, get married, buy a home, have children, grow old and die… It’s a lethal pattern that only some seem to master without flaw.
I do wonder about those people though… They have to be hiding something!
There is far too much pressure to tick off these milestones and quite frankly, it’s not for everyone. And I’ve realised it isn’t for me.
Choosing to live to your expectations will free you from societal pressure or even pressure from those closest to you. It’s horrendous when you judge yourself against others during times when you feel like you aren’t winning the “race” of life.
Decide what is right for you, you’ll know it’s for you when you start to breathe again and feel excited about your plan. It’s not for anyone else to judge because this isn’t their decision. They aren’t living your life.
The world is a different place now. If you want to try 50 different careers then do it. If you want to travel the world and live like a gloriously happy hippie then do it. If you want to work hard in one job and buy the dream house then do it.
Screw what anyone has to say! After all, you’re the only judge in your life who matters.
4. Start Impressing Yourself
When that moment arrives it’s incredible. When you finally stop trying to be the person you’re not. The moment when you decide to take off all your masks. When you choose to fully embrace who you want to be, you will start to like that person. I guarantee.
Start giving yourself that stamp of approval. You don’t need it from anyone else.
Because when you do become the true authentic version of yourself, others become effortlessly drawn to you. And the best part is, the people who want to be in your life will likely share the same passions and goals as you.
Spending time with like minded individuals creates immense levels of happiness. You never have to be confined to the circles you grew up with.
Don’t fear stepping outside your comfort zone to meet new people. You’ll likely bump into those who are doing the same as you.
Be impressed by everything you have to offer someone. Whether it be a partner, new friend, new colleague because all of your weird quirks and unique traits are what make you awesome.
5. Start Focusing On The Future
If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably spent a lot of time in your past.
Overthinking situations and events that have happened to you. Analysing all the different ways you could have changed something or said something different. But all that does is keep you stationed in life.
I believe this is one of the toughest habits to break. Many of us tend to play the blame game. Where we don’t justify our behaviours or take responsibility for ourselves. And the older you get, the worse it will feel as you suddenly start to compare with everyone else around you who appear as if they have it all together.
My advice is to wake up every morning with intention. No matter how big or small, decide upon something that is going to push you forward, rather than hold you back.
When you start to feel those anxious thoughts creeping in, do something to change your state. Get outside, go for a walk, listen to music, write down what you’re feeling, let it leave your mind and transfer it to paper. Have a hot bath, watch a great movie or if you’re working, make fun plans with a friend or colleague.
The sooner you start looking forward, the happier your life will be. We aren’t here long, don’t waste any of your time dwelling on stuff that has already happened. We can’t change it, we can only accept it.
6. Start Believing In What’s Possible
Everything up until now has the power to make you feel happier but the only way to truly rid yourself of frequent unhappiness is believing everything you want to do is possible.
Whether that be a big change in your life or just lots of little changes, it can all happen for you.
Don’t believe everything that your mind tells you. Especially when it’s beating you up with negative thoughts and self-defeating conversations. Realise the dominance you have over negative thoughts. Understand the power of your own control and start using it to your advantage.
It doesn’t matter what the world or what anyone else is telling you. You have to be the one to really believe that you can make the change to reward you with a happier soul.
I guarantee once you start adopting these little start moments in your life, you’ll see the possibilities come alive. And the greatest part of this is how alive and amazing you will undoubtably feel.
Make this year a year to start and end it with nothing but a smile, whispering to yourself “I did it”. Actually go ahead and shout it!