I used to blind myself with criticism all the time.
Growing up in a world where I figured perfectionism would get me places, I would undoubtably give up 9 times out of 10 at any first stages of difficulty. This usually meant any first signs of criticism.
Criticism from anyone who I openly allowed to corrupt my progress.
Their doubts mixed with an undercurrent of my own self consciousness only made for a recipe of disaster. I would take far more steps back than forward.
Taking anything “constructively” wasn’t in my vocabulary. All I head was “right, you’ve failed this time, stop before it get’s worse”!
Spoiler alert: I couldn’t have been more off balance thinking that way.
Smash Criticism In The Face
I swear the last couple of years or so have really opened my eyes. The more I distanced myself and started observing other people for inspiration and ideas, the more it became apparent where I was really going wrong.
It shocked me to begin with but if you do anything, anything at all that is unique and deemed “out of the ordinary”, people will attack you for it.
Most people are scared of different. Many physically cannot open up their mind to step outside the norm.
To them, you’re simply an alien so they ridicule you. It’s harsh…
I’ve found the best way to overcome this is to grow a thick skin and if anyone has anything negative to say about your goals then screw them.
Because if you’re someone who has dreams, real dreams and are willing to actually go out there and do something different, then you’re already miles ahead of so many who are confined to their closed mind.
Let them be I say and go out there and do you.
Handle Praise Positively
How you handle criticism and how you handle praise require pretty much the same level of consideration. They mirror each other and both are equally as important but the trick is not to let either consume you.
To successfully conquer criticism requires mastering how to handle praise positively. The saying goes “The person who is easily flattered, is also easily criticised”.
If you receive a positive or negative comment from someone, allow it dissolve, then dismantle and keep the parts that are actually meaningful. I’ll touch more on that soon.
Ultimately you should remember you’re always in control of your own goals. If you allow someone else to steer you off road through attacks or flattery, you’ll struggle to reach your end destination.
Obviously it’s absolutely necessary to enjoy success. Take that moment for yourself. What would be the point otherwise?
And when it comes to flattery and praise, allow those precious moments and absorb it. Soak it up. It’s good for the soul.
But here’s the kicker…
Spoiling yourself by embracing flattery too much can place you in a vulnerable position, which you want to avoid. Don’t allow yourself to become overconfident as you’ll slow your progress down drastically.
Because you’ll simply stop wanting to learn more, do more and become more.
When praise eclipses you without thought, you open the gates for even deeper criticism.
Ironically, praise can lower your motivation just as much as criticism because you become complacent and work less towards reaching your goals.
Care Less What Other’s Think Of You
Negativity was like a forced stop for me.
Struggling to continue because I worried too much how others perceived me. I honestly don’t know why this was so deep rooted within me.
It’s not easy to overcome but I can assure you it can be done.
And a good way to start is by using your inner power. If you’re like me who overthinks (a lot) then this is your power. It’s time to start using it to your advantage.
Take what is actionable from feedback and simply ignore the rest.
I started focusing on the stuff that I could actually benefit from, rather than destroy me and everything changed. The sweet spot is not allowing anything to get under your skin.
Whether it’s a piece of criticism or a piece of praise, remember it’s only a small fragment on your journey and should never stop you in your tracks.
How many times have you overanalysed a comment on Instagram or a shady text in a group message? We are all guilty someway or another and it can be pretty tough to begin with.
It’s the same when it comes to your work. If you’re choosing a way of living that’s “outside the box” and hear from someone “oh that’s not going to work” or “how can you sustain this”, it can really deflate you.
I know from experience dealing with terrible anxiety and understand that there are always going to be good days and bad days. This way of thinking has really helped me on days where I wake up as my own worst enemy.
Care More About What You Think Of Yourself
I know, I know, it’s sounds like a cliché but I cannot express how much your mindset can change when you start to believe this.
How you see yourself everyday trumps praise or criticism any day. External opinion will always get tossed around your daily life but they are just moments.Moments that pass as quickly as they happen.
You spend time with yourself 24/7 so caring about how you see yourself is what’s going to turbo boost you towards your goals, literally knocking down hurdles on your way, leaving space for real learning curves that help you grow as a person.
Constantly ask yourself if what you’re doing is aligned with your goals. Criticism or praise will never give you the answers, only you can which is why you must hear yourself above anything or anyone else.
It’s funny, once I really started to understand this it made so much sense. Because we’re all so different, have different goals, lifestyle choices and ways of living so why do we let the opinion from people change us.
This isn’t their life so how can they really understand what we want.
No one else can determine your own self-worth. We should reward ourselves with how we choose to. Like I said before, take only actionable things from feedback.
Looking at them as tangible things can help. Real and useful stuff that can help make you, not break you.
Embody A Powerful Type Of Confidence
We are human. We know emotions are inevitable. I deal will an array of them everyday which can be a treat or a trauma.
There’s no escaping this and we will all continue to have them. That’s what helps drive us and empowers us.
But learning how to dissect what people say to you is a true power. The perfect balance for me is searching among the noise for things that can really help me and spending less time dwelling on the negativity.
Accept praise and enjoy it for yourself but don’t let it make you egotistic and distract you from moving forward. This goes for criticism as well. Sure, set aside some time to let it in but never allow it to chip away at your soul.
The longer you dwell on it, the more it can damage you.
Being hurt can’t be avoided. It’s a part of life. Don’t be afraid to be wounded but don’t let it scar you by reevaluating it over and over again.
This is your life. Make it special and keep listening to what you have to say.